Ep. 22 – Armageddon

It’s the end of the world as we know it. But we don’t feel fine, because the only people standing in the way of an enormous asteroid are a group of misfit oil drillers. Although misfit might be understating it. Felons might be more appropriate. Come along with us on a fantastic adventure where oil barons are really just down-to-earth guys with hearts of gold and women are plot devices. You’ll also stand witness to the role that makes Liv Tyler’s Arwen in Lord of the Rings look positively overdeveloped as a character. Ben Affleck joins in, completely destroying any good will gained from his performance in Chasing Amy, and Owen Wilson (reprising his Royal Tenenbaum’s role) has a few lines before becoming a casualty of Michael Bay’s frenetic cinematography.

By the end of the movie, you may just be wondering if you should have been rooting for the asteroid all along! It’s loud, brash, and—somehow—part of the Criterion Collection. Join us for Armageddon.

Ep. 21 – Kiss Me Deadly

What do you get when you bring together a chauvinistic, sleazy, divorce-chasing private dick with a plot to do <insert bad things> to the world with a nuclear McGuffin? You get Kiss Me, Deadly, the passionate tale of Mike Hammer’s heartfelt desire to be a total ass to everyone he knows. Along the way we meet female corpse and plot device #1, emotionally abused secretary #2, ethnic mechanic (doubling as ethnic mechanic corpse) #3 and a the personification of a whole lot of manly swagger.

If you like guns, girls, and nuclear holocaust, then something tells me you’re going to love Kiss Me Deadly.

Ep. 20 – Drunken Angel

This week we return to the masterful work of Akira Kurosawa. No, it’s not samurai, but rather the depths of post-WW2 Japan and the shady dealings of the Yakuza. Join us as we follow the exploits of a doctor with the bedside manners of…well, a drunken angel. Merciful? Check. Angry? Check. Bottle throwing quack? Yeah, check.

Ep. 19 – The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie

First world problems are the worst! I don’t know about you, but if my caviar isn’t direct from the Republic of Miranda, then it’s cat food. The subjects of our movie this week feel my pain, though. All they want is to have a nice dinner party where they can relax, smoke cigars, drink martinis, and lament the coarse nature of the lower classes. You just can’t teach manners to some people, right? Along the way we pick up the sordid tales of dead parents, lost loves, and awkward tea-time conversations.

After all, life is just a metaphorical walk down a long road to nowhere. And so is The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie.

Ep. 18 – Black Moon

It’s a Battle Royale between the sexes, complete with singing flowers, scratchy millipedes, and the ungodly spawn of a donkey and a unicorn. Meanwhile Troy is sacked by those tricksy Greeks and hawks are murdered with axes. Children frolic, pure and innocent, through the meadows with lambs and hogs, all while military combatants infiltrate the secure borders of this peaceful, pastoral retreat from the world. Rather than speech, let movements and touch be your language—unless you’re stuck in bed, in which case you should just stick to your HAM radio.

Are you a bit confused? Thinking that the authors of the Correction are somehow chemically impaired as they write this introduction? Fear not! You’re just not ready for the masterclass in cinema that is Louis Malle’s Black Moon.

No, seriously, that donkey/unicorn hybrid will haunt your dreams!

Ep. 17 – Hunger

How do you sum up a movie like Hunger? Well, it stars Michael Fassbender and Davos Seaworth, and it focuses on deep-seated political unrest in Ireland. It also gives us some graphic depictions of a hunger strike and the lengths to which some brave souls would go to protest for their rights. In fact, let’s just admit that this is a hard movie to summarize with a comical blurb because it represents an individual’s lived experience. We hope you enjoy our look into one of Michael Fassbender’s defining roles.

Ep. 16 – Chasing Amy

This week we tackle a tale as old as time: how do you know when you’ve met “the one”? Well, okay, maybe it’s actually about how attraction works. Or, no, maybe it’s about not judging someone based on their past actions. So…this one’s a little complicated. Holden meets Alyssa (not Amy) and starts to fall for her, even though she prefers partners of the same sex. At the same time, Holden’s business partner (never tracer), Banky, also grapples with a forbidden attraction. This week Kevin Smith brings us a surprisingly deep tale about love on a spectrum and the funny way we negotiate social norms. Of course, being Kevin Smith, he also coats it in a veneer of crass language and hilariously awful analogies. Join us as we explore Chasing Amy.

Ep. 15 – Purple Noon

Being filthy rich can have its disadvantages, especially when stealing someone’s identity is as simple as pasting a photo of yourself into someone’s passport. If you’re not careful, you could find yourself murdered by a purported childhood friend who then decides to steal your money and seduce your fianceé, Marge. Poor Phillipe Greanleaf—he just wasn’t prepared for the dastardly (and frequently improvised) schemes of Tom Ripley. Don’t feel bad, though: Phillipe was a bit of a jerk, and a certain incident involving the loss of Marge’s prized manuscript at sea might leave you cheering for Phillipe’s untimely demise.

If you enjoyed The Talented Mr. Ripley…please give us some idea why this movie is titled Purple Noon. And join us as we decide whether we want this as part of our collection, or if we think it should be cast out into the ocean in a burlap sack.

Ep. 14 – Ratcatcher

There’s garbage in the streets, rats in the house, and one lucky mouse with a ticket to the moon via balloon. Finally, we’re back to a lighthearted fun movie! Well, aside from portrayals of governmental failure, illustrations of the squalid conditions of poverty, and a sense of foreboding so great that our pre-pubescent protagonist James just might not make it out of Scotland alive. Join us this week for a disturbing (and fascinating) look into the social conditions of mid-20th-Century Glasgow with Lynne Ramsay’s Ratcatcher.

Ep. 13 – Badlands

In this classic picture, Joe Estevez’s brother (some guy named Martin Sheen) gives us a glimpse of life on the run with his 15-year old girlfriend/accomplice, Holly. This melancholy tales asks the deepest of questions, such as: if Martin Sheen could write a song, would it really be as touching as one written by Nat King Cole? And should a murderous outlaw be compared to the sexy allure of James Dean? Oh, and how important is a good hat to a guy’s image? Join us as we head out into the plains to figure out the deepest meanings of life, the universe, and everything.

Also, we’re very pleased to introduce the new theme song for the Criterion Correction, composed by Chris Wrigley of Bunhaüs Jingles at podcastthemesongs.com