It’s the end of the world as we know it. But we don’t feel fine, because the only people standing in the way of an enormous asteroid are a group of misfit oil drillers. Although misfit might be understating it. Felons might be more appropriate. Come along with us on a fantastic adventure where oil barons are really just down-to-earth guys with hearts of gold and women are plot devices. You’ll also stand witness to the role that makes Liv Tyler’s Arwen in Lord of the Rings look positively overdeveloped as a character. Ben Affleck joins in, completely destroying any good will gained from his performance in Chasing Amy, and Owen Wilson (reprising his Royal Tenenbaum’s role) has a few lines before becoming a casualty of Michael Bay’s frenetic cinematography.
By the end of the movie, you may just be wondering if you should have been rooting for the asteroid all along! It’s loud, brash, and—somehow—part of the Criterion Collection. Join us for Armageddon.